High Conflict Divorce
Divorce can be tough on a good day. If your spouse/ex is difficult, manipulative or controlling things can be very difficult. This type of divorce is often referred to as a “high conflict divorce” and is characterized by lengthy and expensive legal proceedings, false allegations, frequent hearings, protracted litigation and (what is perceived by the court as) an inability to get along. For more information, please click here.
Divorcing a High Conflict Person
Unfortunately, there is a false assumption in family court that if two people can’t get along then it is because they are both “difficult.” This is often not always the case and it will take a great deal of time, money and documentation to reveal that you are not the difficult one. “High Conflict People” are often individuals with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder or traits. Divorcing a High Conflict Person can also be extremely emotionally taxing and a trained therapist can help you survive this process and protect yourself.
The High Conflict person in Court
High Conflict people, by definition, love to fight, and will stop at nothing to “win.” You will find that due to the adversarial environment in the court room, high conflict people tend to shine here. Partly due to their lack of empathy as well as their tendency for “black and white thinking” there is no compromise in a High Conflict Divorce. In an excellent book, Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, authors Eddy and Kreger explain in detail the concept of “splitting” and how this is exacerbated in the family court system. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone dealing with a high conflict person in court.
High Conflict Custody Battle
Going to court with a high-conflict person for contested custody litigation can be one of the scariest moments in a person’s life. High conflict individuals often use the children as pawns and leverage in these kinds of cases. Your concern for your children coupled with your fear of ex’s high conflict behavior can lead to long periods of what feels like unending stress and crisis. In addition to an attorney who specializes in high-conflict custody litigation, it is extremely important for you to work with a professional with experience in this area so that you can grow from this event and allow your circumstances to change you for the better!
If you are in a custody battle or divorce with a High Conflict Person, I offer specialized guidance and counseling for individuals attempting to navigate the complicated, frustrating and often painful processes related to litigation in the family court system.
Please don’t hesitate to schedule an appointment if you would like more information.